I don’t know about you……but I’m excited


Have you heard of vicarious anxiety?  I hadn't but it exists, and I certainly experienced it this week. 

My son is about to start a degree, but in addition, he will be living on campus at a residential college.  This is not common practice in Australia, but as I lived on campus for my degree at a country university, I wanted him to enjoy the same benefits that I felt it gave me.

He completely agreed and liked the idea of it.............until this last couple of weeks.

So as we slowly approached today, I constantly felt my own anxiety ramp up as I watched my son become increasingly anxious and concerned that he'd made a mistake.

But in the midst of this fear, I knew I needed to arm and empower him.  I needed to leave him with no doubt that this was the right choice and that he was more than capable of everything it required from him.

So I sat down, and did what I normally do.......I worte him a letter that I gave him today.

I intended to let him know that I felt both excited and scared for him as he entered this next phase of his life (which I assumed was not too dissimilar to what he was feeling).  But as I sat to write it, I discovered I had no fear.  And more than that, any fear I had was instead...something to be excited about!

I don’t know about you……but I’m excited!

I’m excited for the opportunity this next stage of life gives you to become your own person in your own way. This will of course require learning so much more than just the academic details of your degree. It will provide you with a chance to truly craft and shape your adult self.

I’m excited about the people you will meet, the lives you will touch and the impact you will have in your own space on this earth.

I’m excited for you to see yourself (through the lens of your new environment) as I have always seen you. A person of incredible integrity, honesty, generosity, humour, sense of justice and love.

I’m excited for you to learn the truth in success and failure and the importance of experiencing both.

I’m excited by the very deep and inherent trust I have in the person you are, that I’m confident you will work your way through whatever situation you need to.

I’m excited that you know you are supported and loved in such a strong and powerful way that when you need someone to lean on during times of struggle and hardship, you will find them in family or friends.

I’m excited for you to appreciate just how deeply I fully trust that you have the necessary skills to negotiate life.

I’m excited to be scared for you because that means you are in charge of your life. I have no direct control, you’re an autonomous adult, no longer a child.

I’m excited for you to laugh, cry, hurt and heal because that tell’s me you’re living a life that is rich with experiences.

And finally, I’m as excited today to be your mother as I was on the day you were born.

Thank you. I love you deeply and…….I’m excited