Teen boys, a glimpse from the rear view mirror!

March 26, 2018

Teen boys, a glimpse from the rear view mirror!


When one of my sons was in year 12, we'd had a rough morning one day, mid way through term 1 which caused his anxiety to run wild.

He had an assignment due that had to be in by 8.50am, the precision of the time, due to the fact it was a HSC assessment task. I told my son the night before that we would need to leave 15mins earlier. I had to stop in at the shops before school as I'd have no other chance that day.  He understood this, but it didn't seem to hasten his speed in the morning and we didn't get away quite as early as I'd intended.

I ran into the shops, got what I needed and we left with what I believed was still sufficient time. 

Sadly, what I hadn't anticipated, was that arriving at school from this other slightly different direction actually had much more traffic then I realised and it was soon looking more and more likely that we would be delayed.

As my son's anxiety rose, so did mine.  Trying to keep it together, I ran though every option I could think of to diffuse his anxiety - play it cool, (it's not a big deal, the ATAR isn't the be all and end all), call the teacher and explain we are stuck in traffic, let my son out of the car and run to school, etc.

When we finally arrived with only seconds to spare (having not been able to agreee on any other viable option) my son was distraught.  I parked on the side of the road, grabbed the assignment and ran for my life into the library where it had to be handed in.  I hikacked the librarian and then suddenly, life slowed down.  She very calmly explained the process and told me what I had to do. It was a simple painless moment, but it was preceeded by more pain than childbirth.

I returned to the car shaking all over.  The entire experience had left me as rattled and anxious as it did my son. Together, we weren't a pretty sight.

After calming down and regaining some level of composure, I asked him what he wanted to do. Should we wait in the car a while longer or did he want me to just drop him off in the usual 'kiss and drop' location?



He said he was happy to be dropped off (by this time the bell had gone and there weren't many around). As we approached the area, we saw one of his best friends just standing there. I baulked and said to my son 'what do you want me to do? Should we wait back here till he's gone?' 'No' my son said, 'don't worry, go ahead, I'll deal with it'.

So I slowly drove into the drop off area and let him out.

I pulled away from the kerb, terrified for the embarrassment he might feel and just happened to glance back in my rear view mirror. What I saw, stole my heart and left me in a mess of tears again........There was my 6foot plus son being hugged in a huge, warm and unrestrained embrace by his 6foot plus friend .

I truly love my boys and their friends!


Popular Posts

February 18, 2018
I don’t know about you…but I’m excited!
I don’t know about you…but I’m excited!

I don’t know about you……but I’m excited   Have you heard of vicarious anxiety?  I hadn't but it exists, and I certainly experienced it this week.  My son is about to start a degree, but in addition, he will be living on campus at a residential college.  This is not common practice in Australia, but as I lived...

March 04, 2018
The Letter Your Teenager Can't Write You
The Letter Your Teenager Can't Write You

The Letter Your Teenager Can't Write You By Gretchen Schmelzer, PhD   Dear Parent: This is the letter that I wish I could write.  This fight we are in right now. I need it. I need this fight. I can’t tell you this because I don’t have the language for it and it wouldn’t make sense anyway. But I need thi...

March 13, 2018
25 things we say to our teens
25 things we say to our teens

  And if it all gets too much, feel free to join our closed Facebook group for parents/carers of teens.  We are a peer support group, that practices empathy before judgement. [click here to join]  

Browse by category

more categories

Sign up for our newsletter

Sign up for our monthly newsletter. No spams, just product updates.

By signing up, you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.